Comedy Shelf Life -or- How to Remake Innerspace.

Advance reviews of the new Ghostbusters movie have, let us say, not been kind. 


And, before this gets anyone’s hackles up, reviews claim it has nothing to do with the all female main cast. It has to do with the movie not knowing what it wanted to be, whether a reboot, sequel or homage as it calls back to the original without capturing the magic of the first. I myself will still see it and judge it (attempt to anyway) for what it and try not to compare it to the original. 

 Likewise, Kevin Hart, while cranking out many stand-up specials on Netflix, is saturating the theaters with the same “panicking, hyper, tiny-man” routine. Take his latest film, Central Intelligence, with an IGN score of 4.5 out of 10 and losing money at the box office. Not even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could save it. And his movie Get Hard with Will Ferrell was pretty much a rip off of Rob Schneider’s box office bomb, Big Stan (go ahead, look it it up, I’ll wait).  

 All this brings a point to mind about the shelf life of the active comedian. And how, if overdone, causes that star to crash and burn. When they, the comedian, or Hollywood, just milk that cow until it falls over dead.

 Remember when Jim Carrey was funny? Or, Adam Sandler? The first couple of movies came out and we all had a good laugh and quoted them over and over. Then came the next batch of flicks and we got a chuckle, with a waning smile. Then the next batch...and no one was laughing. 

 Could you sit through another Austin Power’s movie, with people saying “Oh behave” and “shag” constantly?

 Like Mike Meyes, Will Ferrel, Anna Farris, Eddie Murphy, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Amy Pohler, Tina Fey and several others to name a few have seemingly reached their comedy shelf life. And, it is about to happen again to Kevin Hart and Melissa McCarthy. 

 Poor Melissa. While funny, no doubt, some claim losing the weight lost her the Mike & Molly gig. And people, it seems, want a plus-sized comedian doing physical comedy. They want the Belushi, the Farley, the Candy. Well, maybe those are all bad examples on account of being dead. But the point it, when Jonah Hill lost the pounds, he also stopped working. So, Rebel Wilson, you’re on notice.  


So, with the Ghostbusters coming out, and the love/hate it will receive depending on what side of the fence you are on the remake, she too may be looking for work. So, I propose this: With how Hollywood loves to remake movies that no one wanted or asked for, let’s do one no would expect: 


 Yea, I said it. Innerspace!

 This 1987 comedy sci-fi darling gem starring Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan and Martin Short, was an incredible tale of comedy science where the hero, who was miniaturized in his submersible ship, was accidentally injected inside a go-nowhere loser. Communicating from within, the nerd becomes the unwilling hero and an epic tale of comedy spy/action followed. 

And it is just bloody ripe for a modern remake!

Imagine it: In this possible modern version, Melisa McCarthy can be the brilliant scientist who leads the miniaturization project, who is then accidentally injected inside Kevin Hart. Together they have to bring down an international terrorist...thing, who are trying to steal the miniaturization technology for...reasons? 

...Look, does it even matter? The material writes itself. Kevin get’s to do his “panicking tiny man” thing while finding inner strength and courage while Melisa get’s to curse at him in interesting ways. Paul Fieg (no doubt directing) get’s to chalk up another notch on his belt. Hell, this is even a way to slip a “Bet this is the first time a white woman’s been inside a black man” joke. 

 So come on Hollywood, make this masterpiece happen before both stars implode and try to do “meaningful” thought piece movies which leave people claiming they liked them...but deep down know they are garbage.